Volkswagen’s 2017 model year press release is so long, you’d think they were running the most successful company in America. Some of it doesn’t even make sense, but everyone who’s read it agrees the GTI Sport is the big story.

Like the people who bought one will tell you, the GTI is not one car. You have to choose how many doors you want and then go through all the trim levels to see which you can afford. The top one i…